Being a Chick.

I’m in a funny kinda mood right now. I wholeheartedly blame the godawful winter we’ve been having. As I walked to work this morning, my umbrella kept flying inside out with the horrid winds, and then the stick-bits got bent and it broke and I got the right hump. My day did not get off to a good start.

People at work were assholes today. It’s the last Saturday before Christmas; of course people were going to be assholes. It was just a day of utter bullshit. So much fucking bullshit.

I’m not ready for Christmas at all. I’ve got basically zero gifts for people. I’m running out of cash already and I’ve literally only just been paid. I have no idea where my money goes. It’s ridiculous.

I was looking forward to getting spoilt with kisses by my beautiful Tattooed Jock tomorrow but I get the impression I’m expecting that uncomfortable text message from him soon… The last time we spoke he mentioned that his friend, The Columbian, was back for a bit and they needed to catch up and he was having a hard time blah, blah, blah. I told him it was okay for him to blow me out. I could wait to see him. I meant it. Of course I meant it. But now I’m kinda pissed. Not pissed enough to take it out on him, just pissed enough to want to talk about it.

They have the oddest relationship. The Columbian owes him money and doesn’t seem to want to pay it back at any point soon. Jock is disappointed in his recent behaviour. The Columbian’s girlfriend is a fucking bitch and I’ve hated her from day one. Not only did he mention that The Columbian was home… He also mentioned six of us going out for drinks – The Columbian and the Fucking Bitch, The Redneck and his other half (I don’t have a name for her yet) and Jock and I. Yeah sure. Because that doesn’t sound like my idea of hell at all! *insert sarcastic tone of choice here*

I wasn’t expecting to see Jock; they were sort of last-minute plans anyway. We weren’t expecting to see each other until after the New Year but found that we had a surprise day off together and decided to spend them together. Then he dropped that news on me. I’d rather he just went on his own to be honest. I don’t mind The Redneck and his other half; in fact I have a fondness for them really. The Columbian I just find pretentious although he’s kinda cute, and his Fucking Bitch just grates on me every time I see her. She’s so up her own ass it’s unreal. Ugh. Bitch.

As much as I’d love to see Jock, I do have a lot of writing work to do. In fact, that’s all I seem to find myself doing these days. I go to work, I come home. I probably get pissed on by the rain in the process. I write in the evenings, occasionally fitting in a couple of days with Jock here and there, and also squeezing in some Bestie time. I spend my entire life working and yet I have nothing to show for it. Life is so depressing right now. Like I said, I blame the weather.

I guess what I really want is to smoke a spliff and spend the night being cute and giggling in Jock’s arms. That’s all I ever want these days and I’m not even ashamed to admit it. I love his company. I love our sex. I love the way he makes me feel. I want to be wrapped up in each other on the couch, blankets wrapped around us, watching something manly on the TV. And now it’s not going to happen. I’m just a bit disappointed I guess. That’s all.

To be fair, I could probably do with some time to myself. Time to catch up on all the writing work I find myself putting off. Time to paint my toenails and give myself a facial. Time to just chill out. Maybe it’s better if he does blow me out. I’m not pissed at him, obviously. I want him to be able to go and have time with his boys. However, we only spend like a couple of days every week to two weeks together… Does he really need to make his plans with them coincide with ours?

I’m just being a chick, aren’t I?